Christmas Shoes
by Gravity In the Air
Summary: Some tumblr prompt asked for a story based off the song Christmas Shoes. It's my first fic so don't hate on me too much. I did try. The ever lovely joiedevivre2011 helped edit and beta :)


Jane was out on her lunch break to get coffee when she first noticed a boy about five or six lingering around a department store window. As Jane waited in line for coffee, she kept her eye on him. Tiny, fancy black dress shoes, nice khaki pants, a coat that looked to cost several hundred dollars easily, red mittens, and a matching hat.

The third day seeing this little boy outside the window as she was waiting to get her candy cane coffee she finally approached him. "Hey, I'm Jane," she told him, showing him her police badge.

Small hazel eyes looked up at her in shock. "I wasn't doing anything wrong," he protested.

Jane held up her free hand as she sipped her coffee with the other. "No, I just noticed you here a lot and I brought you a candy cane," she told him.

Tentatively he reached out and took the candy cane before disappearing. Jane shrugged as he ran off, but those hazel eyes stuck with her. They were so like the old medical examiner's…. _Maura_.

Pain stabbed at Jane's heart as she remembered the woman.

_This new medical examiner had breezed in, taking over for that asshole Pike. Jane had never met someone who commanded such attention and authority and yet shied away from contact with anyone outside her morgue. Instantly Jane had been captivated. _

_So naturally, being Jane, she'd lashed out at yet another person who would probably think they were too good for her. After all, who shows up to a crime scene in Louboutin heels and an even more expensive designer dress to look at a dead body? Even reporters don't do that. Yet Maura did, all while managing to not even get blood on her outfit. _

_A few crime scenes later and Jane had drawn the short straw to get the results from the autopsy. Frost found out he had a penchant for upchucking and Korsak pulled rank too often. Jane remembered the first words Maura truly spoke to her. "Have I done something to offend you? Because you're awfully rude to me and I cannot figure out why. Is it a crime lab thing, or is it just me?" _

_Jane felt like an ass and worked quickly to rectify her behavior. For some reason she really wanted to get to know Maura, to be her friend. Slowly they'd developed a nice rapport, great even, over four months. Then suddenly Maura was gone. No more phone calls. No texts. No emails. The woman just disappeared. _

It'd been almost a month since Jane had let herself truly reflect on her time with Maura, but those little hazel eyes brought back every memory she had of her best friend who'd simply vanished six months ago.

Two days later Jane was back getting coffee, simply in hopes of seeing the boy again. This time she'd brought him a hot chocolate.

She saw him in her peripheral as she finally made it to the counter. Once she had her purchases, Jane cautiously made her way over to the little boy.

He turned and eyed her warily. "I brought you a hot chocolate today," she informed him, handing a cup out.

The boy took it, taking a sip before looking up at her. "Mom said that chocolate causes obesity and tooth decay. It also contains theobromine which is a naturally occurring stimulant," he stated.

Jane raised her eyebrow at him. "Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which boosts your mood. I learned that from a doctor," Jane countered.

"My mom _is _a doctor," the boy stated, sipping his drink slowly to savor it.

It reminded Jane of the first time Maura came over to her apartment.

_Right at five thirty Maura had knocked on Jane's door. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Jane opened the door and with a wide smile she let Maura in. _

_The other woman held up a bottle of wine. "I didn't know what to bring, so I brought you a French Merlot. I didn't know whether you avoided the wine at The Dirty Robber because you're not a wine drinker, or because it's chalky," the blonde rambled. _

_Jane chuckled and placed the bottle in the fridge. "Thanks, it's because I'm not a wine drinker. I prefer beer. You look fabulous by the way," Jane complimented, noting the fit of the blue figure-hugging dress and the height of the heels. _

"_Don't leave it in there too long. Merlot should be served between 55 and 65 degrees Fahrenheit," Maura piped up as the door to the refrigerator closed. Jane turned and gave her an amused smirk._

_They soon settled in to watch The Big Bang Theory. Jane figured that would have enough to hold Maura's interest and keep her entertained as well. Food came and drinks were served up. _

"_At least try my beer," Jane teased as she noticed Maura's scrunched up nose at the hiss of the beer opening. _

"_Only if you try my wine," Maura teased back, twirling the stem of her wine glass between her fingers. _

_Jane was pleased with the flirtatious banter as the night progressed._

_As the meal was wrapping up, Maura grabbed hold of Jane's beer bottle and drank a sip hesitantly. Her eyes widened as the amber liquid trickled down her throat. _

"_This is actually pretty good!" the blonde exclaimed, hand flying to her mouth to catch the slight dribble. _

_Jane watched as the woman slowly savored each pull of beer until it was gone, completely enraptured with the pink lips wrapping around the rim of the bottle. Surprised pleasure was written all over Maura's face as she indulged in the beer. _

Jane watched the boy for a minute, content to just quietly sip their respective drinks. "I have a dog named Jo Friday. A few days ago I saw you play with that little black dog. He yours?" Jane asked.

The boy looked up at her quickly. "Oh no, I can't have a dog. Mom… just can't take care of one right now. We have a tortoise though. His name is Bass," he informed.

"A turtle is an odd choice for a pet. My friend talked once upon a time about having a turtle in college," Jane stated.

The boy sighed. "Tortoise, not turtle. Many tortoises and turtles are in entirely different families in biological classification, even if they're all reptiles," he corrected. "My mom taught me that."

Jane chuckled. Maura had also corrected her every time she asked how the turtle was doing.

"What's your name, kid?" Jane asked.

"Liam after William Maple. He's a famous forensic scientist. He worked on the Elephant Man and even a U.S. president! His book is really popular too. My middle name is Edmond," the boy stated.

"Did he invent the wheel?" Jane questioned.

The boy's brows furrowed in confusion. "Not that I know of. Edmond Locard developed the 12 point method of matching fingerprints. You should know that. You're a cop after all," the boy pointed out.

Jane threw her head back laughing. "Kid, you're hilarious. How come you're always here alone?" Jane asked.

"I'm not alone. I come here on my break from school. I study in the morning, take a break for lunch and some free time, and then go back and study for a few more hours. My nanny is over there talking to the other nannies," he informed, pointing to a group of women at a nearby park bench.

Jane watched as one of the women waved him over. The boy hesitated for a few seconds before hugging Jane quickly and running away.

_The first time Maura had hugged Jane it'd been a Thursday and they'd just wrapped up a horrific case. A man had murdered eight children in a most grotesque way, which had caused even Jane's stomach to churn. She'd never wanted to hug her own mother more. _

_Twelve hours and one fist-sized hole in the wall is what it took to obtain a confession. Jane didn't even wait for the final click of the handcuffs before disappearing down to the morgue. _

_Jane found Maura at her desk, face in her hands. At first Jane thought she was sleeping until she finally saw the slight tremors wracking the blonde's body. Jane rushed to her side. _

"_Maura, what is it?" she asked, alarmed. _

_The blonde jumped, looking up at Jane, clearly startled. Maura wiped tears from her face hastily. "I didn't hear you come in," Maura admitted, looking at the ground again. _

_Jane cupped her chin and tilted the woman's jaw up to look into her eyes. "Maur, what's wrong?" she asked._

"_I, it's just this case. You got the guy and the magnitude of it all finally just hit me," Maura admitted. _

_Jane nodded in empathy holding up her hand. "I may have punched a wall," she confessed. _

_Maura jumped up and quickly examined the bruised and broken, open skin. _

_Once all fixed up, Jane stared at Maura, who was wringing her hands and staring at a particular spot on the floor. _

"_Talk to me, Maura" Jane said quietly._

_Hazel eyes met brown. "I, well, I was just wondering if…" Maura started to ask before trailing off. _

"_Just ask me," Jane requested. _

"_I just, I need…" Maura started to say again before stopping. Jane again started to ask what she needed when Maura was suddenly pressed against her, arms wrapped around her waist. _

_It seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. The quickest hug in history. Maura stood a foot away looking nervously up at her. _

"_Maura, don't ever ask if you need a hug. Whenever you want, whatever you want, I'm here," Jane assured, pulling Maura back in for a proper hug. _

Jane and Liam developed a daily habit. No matter what she was working on, or how awful the case, she'd always make time to bring the boy some hot chocolate and sometimes a little cookie or a muffin while they sat together and Jane had her coffee. They'd talk about the boy's school work, their pets, Jane's family, and Jane's job. Sometimes Liam spoke of his mother, but only vaguely. Jane learned she was a doctor who gave a voice to the voiceless. She was a genius and loved to travel. Liam spoke French, which Jane learned on accident after overhearing the boy and his nanny talking.

They continued this routine for weeks. Every day it brought forth new memories of Maura for Jane. It reminded her of nights spent together sharing dinner and a movie or documentary or sports game. Nights together turned into the occasional weekend. Dinners turned into breakfast and lunch. Jane would find every excuse to be in the morgue talking to Dr. Isles. Even Angela had met the woman suddenly monopolizing all of her daughter's time.

Countless nights Jane spent dreaming of Maura; how they had gravitated towards one another in sleep. How they'd chased away each other's nightmares. How soft Maura's skin had felt and how good her hair smelled. And now, as hard as Jane tried to fight it, she constantly thought about their last day together.

_ Over the past few months the women had spent countless time at each other's places, but tonight was different. Jane had finally worked up the courage to ask Maura on a date. The case had just wrapped. Everyone had been awake for nearly three days straight, save for the occasional hour or two nap here and there. Jane stood in the doorway to Maura's office watching her flit around, organizing her paperwork to hand in. It wasn't until Jane cleared her throat that Maura looked up, startled that someone was there. _

"_Oh, Jane, I didn't hear you come down. I'm sorry," Maura stammered. _

_Jane smirked in response. "I was just watching you work. You're like a work of art," Jane admitted, before blushing as she realized that was out loud. _

_Maura smiled, noticing how beautiful the blush looked. "Thank you. I should be done here soon," she said. _

_Jane stuffed her hands in her pockets and rocked back and forth in her boots. It took a long minute before Jane actually spoke. "I was just, uh, wondering if you wanted to come back to my place. I could cook something and we could watch whatever you want. I'd offer to take you out to some place nice and all, but I think we could both use some time to relax, and I, uh, want to spend some time with you," she rambled. _

_Maura looked up at the nervousness in Jane's tone and saw it extended to the brunette's body language. "Like a date?" Maura questioned, looking straight into dark brown eyes._

_Jane felt like Maura was trying to examine her soul under a microscope. She rubbed at the back of her neck with her left hand, momentarily staring at the ground before looking back into liquid amber eyes. "Yeah, as a date," Jane agreed. A moment of silence and Jane thought it was rejection so she backtracked. "I mean it doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be. We both need to have a good meal and relax after this case, and I feel better after cases knowing I can see you," she tried to explain, suddenly feeling awkward._

_Maura just shook her head. Rounding her desk to clasp Jane's fidgeting hands, she made sure Jane was looking at her before speaking. "I'd love to have a dinner and movie date with you," she assured the detective, smiling brightly. _

_Jane beamed widely enough to show off her dimples, barely resisting the urge to pump her fist in the air with excitement. _

_They left the precinct together and took their respective cars to Jane's apartment. Jane made her mother's famous lasagna and a small side salad for Maura, finally opening the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon Maura had given her nearly a month ago. They ate at the island, sharing occasional chatter as the television quietly played jazz music. _

_Maura had complimented Jane's cooking countless times during and after the meal as they cleaned up. Jane reveled in her words, despite the blush affixing itself to her face. "Okay, well, I know I'd like to be in something other than these work clothes. Is it okay if we change?" Jane asked._

"_I don't have-" _

_Jane interrupted, "The last few times you've stayed here you left some yoga pants and some shirts, or I could lend you one."_

_Maura found her yoga pants among her other belongings in a drawer in Jane's dresser. She accepted Jane's Red Sox shirt while Jane went to change in the bathroom. Jane barely took any time to switch into a BPD softball shirt and her own yoga pants Maura had bought her. It gave Jane a chance to peek at Maura as the woman lifted Jane's shirt to her nose, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent. It made Jane actually feel giddy. _

_Together they watched Life of Pi. As the movie played, they seemed to subconsciously gravitate towards one another. Halfway through, Jane reached out and took Maura's hand in hers. Maura in turn gave it a squeeze, turning to smile at Jane. By the end of the movie there wasn't enough space between them to squeeze a piece of paper through. Credits rolled and they both stretched slightly. Jane turned and leaned towards Maura, intending to give her a kiss on the cheek. Maura must have been doing the same because instead of lips connecting to cheeks, lips connected to lips. Despite the initial shock, neither pulled away. Instead, hands tangled in hair and tongues tentatively probed. The dam of feelings that had been building up suddenly burst, neither wanting to control it anymore. _

_The women held onto each other, not ready to face the reality when whatever was happening was over. Jane managed to roll herself on top of Maura on the narrow couch. Jane could have happily gone on forever making out with Maura, but the sounds the woman beneath her was making drove her on. She trailed open mouth kisses down her jaw to her neck. The small whimpers turned into loud moans, prompting Jane to stay there. Teeth nipped, tongue swirled, and gentle sucks had Maura digging her nails into Jane's back. Jane squeezed Maura's hip before sneaking her left hand underneath the fitted tee to feel heated skin. Jane paused to savor the moment, releasing a moan as her hand slid up Maura's flat torso to the underside of Maura's breast and her fingertips finally grazed a rapidly hardening nipple. Hips crashed up into hers and Maura gasped. _

_Maura suddenly pulled back, biting her lip as she looked up at her. "I'm sorry. This has been a great night, but perhaps we've done enough for now," Maura tried to explain. "It's just that sex usually ends things with people for me, and I don't want that to happen with us."_

_Jane nodded. "I understand," she replied and then softly kissed Maura once more before pushing herself off of the woman and helping her up. _

"_I think I'm just going to go," Maura remarked quietly. "I know if I stay here I won't be able to control myself. The evening was lovely though, Jane." _

_Jane walked the woman to the door after she'd gathered her things. She smiled to herself, knowing the faint red marks on the blonde's neck would soon turn into darker bruises that would be difficult to hide. If she couldn't have Maura tonight, she could at least be happy knowing she'd marked her best friend for a few days while they worked back up to this point again. _

_Maura pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, cupping her cheek briefly before finally walking out of the building...and ultimately out of her life._

Despite the months that had passed, Jane still didn't understand how one day she could go from having her tongue in her best friend's mouth to not having her best friend in her life anymore at all.

It was so close to Christmas, and naturally her mother had put off most of her shopping until the last minute. She volunteered Jane to pick up all her last minute items. Jane begrudgingly agreed because it gave her some time to clear her head after the tough case she'd just closed. Completing the long list gave Jane time to think, and since meeting Liam all her thoughts seemed to wander to every memory she had of her best friend. Last on the list was a specific scarf that _had _to be purchased from a particular shop, which just so happened to be the same one that Liam so often stood outside of. Jane tried to pull her coat tighter around herself as the snow and wind whipped around her. She muttered to herself as she entered the store. In her search for this stupid red scarf Carla just _had to have_ for her Christmas present, Jane also browsed the button downs, plucking a purple one and a light blue one from the rack. Annoyed about the most recent insistence from her mother about wanting her to dress nicer, these shirts were just going to have to do.

Getting lost in the tops, shouting snapped Jane out of her trance. It sounded like an adult and a child. Jane tried to ignore it until the arguing got louder. Slowly she made her way over to the checkout counter.

It shocked her to find Liam there all alone. "Liam, what are you doing here so late?" Jane asked, eyes wide.

Hazel tear-filled eyes found her concerned brown ones. "Grandma says Mommy doesn't have much longer left. She's been really sick for a long time, and she _loves_ shoes. These are perfect and her size. I want her to look beautiful if her time runs out this Christmas. Please Jane, I _need_ these shoes for Mommy," he begged, tears falling down his reddened cheeks.

Jane's heart broke a little at his story. This was why he talked so little about his mother. It was his coping mechanism for the seemingly inevitable loss. She took note of his feety pajamas, unzipped coat, and lack of hat or mittens. "Did you come here by yourself?" Jane asked.

"The boy can't afford these shoes. Even with his cash, there just isn't enough," the cashier stated.

Liam frantically pulled his pockets inside out before looking up at Jane. "Please! Mommy has to look beautiful if it really is time for her to leave me!" he sobbed.

Jane put her items on the counter before telling the cashier to ring it all up together. She smiled reassuringly down at the boy. She knew after their first week together that if he'd asked anything of her that she'd readily give it to him. He'd traveled all this way in the snow to finally, desperately, try and buy these shoes. Even if she'd have been born with too small a heart like the Grinch, she couldn't and wouldn't have refused him anything.

Liam looked up at her. "Oh thank you, Jane! Mommy will look so good in these!" he exclaimed.

"I'm going to take you home now. I'm sure she is very worried about you," Jane told him, picking him up. She felt her coat dampen as his feet rested against her hips.

Jane put the address the boy gave in her GPS and drove him home. She spent the twenty minutes thinking about how this little boy had just reminded her what Christmas was all about. He had given her a reprieve every day from the gruesomeness of her job and the cases, and now here she was able to help him. The miracle of giving and sharing love over the holidays. She'd have to hug her own mom when she went home.

No one came to the door when they arrived so Jane carried the boy into the house with his mother's new shoes.

Liam took her hand and led her upstairs to a bedroom. A form was barely discernible in the massive amounts of blankets and pillows. As the boy crept closer, the floor creaked, causing a body to stir.

"Liam? Is that you? Baby, don't you ever do that to me again! You know you're not supposed to leave without someone with you!" a familiar voice scolded.

"Sorry, Mommy. I just _had _to get you these shoes. Grandma said you were doing worse and I didn't want you to leave me without having a new pair of shoes to take with you," the boy practically whispered.

The mattress raised and slowly a golden halo of curls came into view. Her face was much paler and thinner. There were dark circles under her eyes, but this was still Maura. Jane gasped. Maura, _her Maura_, really did look on her death bed. Jane felt her heart breaking even more.

Two pairs of hazel eyes stared up at her from the bed.

"Mommy, this is…." Liam started to explain.

"Jane?" Maura questioned. The boy's eyes snapped to his mother before looking back at Jane.

"Maura, you're Liam's mother?" Jane asked. The blonde hair, hazel eyes, and the spouting odd facts all started to add up now.

"Yes. What are _you _doing with him?" the question addressed with more acid than intended.

Jane's gaze narrowed. "He was at the store in this snowstorm with no boots, no hat, and no mittens. I brought him home," Jane replied curtly.

"Mommy, this is the lady I've been telling you about. She brings me hot chocolate and we talk. She's a really good cop, you know? Jane catches all the bad guys," Liam boasted. The boy was oblivious to the two women staring each other down.

"Look at the shoes I got you. Do you like them?" the boy asked. Maura turned to look at him, breaking the standoff.

She examined the shoes and the box intently. "These are lovely, Lee, but how did you afford these?" Maura questioned. The price tag was more than any cash her son might have had on hand.

"Jane helped, but I paid a lot too," Liam informed, smiling enough that his dimple showed.

"Thank Jane, sweetheart, and go change," Maura ordered. "It really is past your bedtime."

The boy kissed his mother before climbing of the bed. He gave Jane a tight hug. "Thank you for helping me. Goodnight, Jane. Goodnight, Mommy," the boy stated. He disappeared out of the room before waiting for a reply.

"_You _are the Jay he's been raving about for weeks?" Maura asked. She studied the brooding detective standing in her bedroom from her black boots leaving puddles of melting snow on her floor to her long legs encased in tight jeans, black jacket pulled tight around her, arms crossed over her chest, and a frown marring her perfect facial features.

Jane ran a hand through her windblown curls. "Yeah, Maura. I've been having a lunch date with your son every day for nearly three weeks. yet he never once even mentioned your name or anything I could have attributed to you. That boy is nearly seven years old," she said, jaw clenched as she pointed toward the bedroom door in Liam's direction. "I thought we were friends, but not even once did you tell me you had a child. We finally got somewhere with us, we _kissed for well over an hour on my couch_, and then you vanished with no trace whatsoever. Just bailed on me! I didn't even have a way to contact you after you changed your phone number." She then paused, taking a deep breath. "You know, you just might be 'Queen of the Dead' after all," she snapped, her anger adding extra bite to her words.

Maura looked down at her hands in her lap on top of the bedding. "Please sit down. I'll explain," Maura stated.

Jane remained standing for an endless minute before sitting on the edge of the foot of the bed reluctantly. "Why would you do this to me?" Jane asked, heartache plain in her voice.

Maura sighed. "Jane, when I started work at the police department, I didn't have Liam with me full time. I split custody 50/50 with his father. Liam would spend two weeks with me, and then two weeks with his father in the beginning, when his father still lived near me. When I started at BPD, Ian and I became more lax in custody arrangements. He was in California for several months working on obtaining more grant money to go back to Africa. I agreed to let Lee stay with him for a while in order for me to settle in here. His place there was already set up, and I'd just moved from France so I had a lot of work to do before I could bring Liam here. I didn't get Liam back fully until after I'd already left my position," Maura started to explain.

Jane cut her off, "In all that time you still could have mentioned you had a kid. My brother has a kid and he's not married. I wouldn't have judged you, you know that, but none of this explains why you up and vanished on me. Was my kissing really that bad?" Jane asked. "Was what we had, or I thought we had...was it nothing to you?"

Maura smiled sadly. "No, I wanted so badly to continue what we had started to develop," Maura assured.

Jane finally looked over at her. "Then why didn't you?" Jane questioned.

Maura looked down at her hands once more. "I had been feeling off for a while, thinking it was just my body adjusting to the new environment, but after a few months it didn't go away. I went through countless tests to find out I have stage four acute lymphoblastic leukemia my doctors believe runs somewhere in my birth family, and they told me I would very likely die within a year. I didn't want to hurt you worse by entering a relationship knowing it wouldn't have a chance to go anywhere. You got pulled into that huge case with narcotics, and I'd already given my resignation. I left before you were done with the case. I couldn't interrupt all the good you did with that simply because of my predicament. The greater good and all," Maura explained.

Jane didn't know whether she was angry or heartbroken. "You could have told me that too! You didn't have to just vanish," she retorted.

"I've never been very good with people, Jane. You know this. I thought it'd be easier if you thought I just disappeared, that it'd hurt less than maybe thinking you'd found love only to lose it so soon," Maura stated before she began to cry.

Jane knew no matter what happened from here on out, she was with Maura through it all. She refused to lose whatever time they had left together, so without hesitation Jane moved up the bed to cradle Maura against her, rubbing her back. "I have thought about you every day since you disappeared. For a while I managed to stop dreaming about you, but then I met Liam. He inherited your eyes. They're very unique, one of my favorite things about you. You should have told me and let me make the decision. We could have had nearly an entire year together. I could have taken care of you and your son. But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm here now and I'm not leaving," Jane promised.

Maura leaned back, tears in her eyes. This seemed too good to be true. She must be dreaming. "Really? You want to stay with me? My own mother won't even stay here when she comes to visit for a few hours," Maura commented, astonished at Jane's insistence.

"Well that's her loss. You wear your fancy shoes Liam has been staring at for weeks, and I'll take care of you both. I've missed you and I refuse to waste any more time without you," Jane told her, kissing the top of the blonde's head.

Jane took off her boots, sent a text to her mother saying that she'd bring the gifts over in the morning, and then snuggled close to Maura.

Maura decided that if she was indeed dreaming that she would make the most of it for as long as she could. "There's an experimental treatment I start in two days. It looks promising," Maura whispered, causing Jane to hold her just a little more tightly. They fell asleep tangled up together, both with hope in their thoughts.


End file.
